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Where Cosmo got it wrong…2015 Trends that need to R.I.P

Where Cosmo got it wrong…2015 Trends that need to R.I.P

Twitter has erupted with the new discovery of Cosmopolitan’s “21 Beauty Trends That Need to Die in 2015”  due to the fact that all the black women included in the article are featured in the “R.I.P.” category or  trends that need to go.  Such categorization has some publicly encouraging the boycotting of the magazine, while others have taken to the social media site with hashtags like #whatitsliketobeablackgirl. Yet my problem isn’t with the topic of categorization but why it exists to begin with, so in response to Cosmopolitan and all those crying wolf over this “problem” here’s my list of Attitudes That Need to Die in 2015.

1. Playing the victim: While racism in this world does still exist, it is important to know how to choose your battles. Sure there are 4 women in this article who are black, and all of them are in the “R.I.P.” category, but what about the remaining 17 who are either White or Hispanic who are also in this category? They aren’t taking to social media and hashtagging their lives away because it doesn’t matter. Sure as a community we have been dealt some dirty hands, but does this article really compare to the Trayvon Martins of this world? I think not. I mean sure Cosmopolitan has apologized, wonderful, but what about the apologies for all the deaths and injustice? Hmmm…crickets. So take a step back, reevaluate the seriousness of situations, and wonder why you’re worrying about the opinions of shrimp if you consider yourself a shark.

2. Discounting people because of race, features, etc.: One important thing I noticed about the Huffington Post article– which brought my attention to this outrage in the first place– is that they continually discount Nicole Richie’s inclusion in the Cosmo list because she is mixed. The same thing occurred when President Obama first took office as the world continually referred to his Hawaiian/White descent and began to discount him as a black man. However this isn’t just a problem in the media but also in our everyday lives. Just look on social media and you’ll see team light skins and team dark skins, team relaxed, natural, texlaxed, Hatian, Jamaican and everything in between. The constant segregation of our community from the inside needs to stop, and we need to learn to embrace and learn from each others strengths and weaknesses.

3. Instigating: Along with those who play the victim every time a horn sounds are those who add flame to the fire by supporting the ignorance whether knowledgeable or not. Take for instance all those who have retweeted others post on the Cosmo article, and of all those retweets all the incorrect information that was spread. Think of all the individuals who may not have taken the time to view the article themselves, but still tweeted about it just because it was trending.

4. Boxing: Now I don’t mean boxing as in self-defense. By all means if you feel the need to learn to protect yourself, as I feel we all should, do so and have fun while doing it. Feel empowered by doing it, but when you’re boxing people into a stereotype, look or any other aspect of someone’s life just because you think it’s not okay I have to stop you. The whole article is based on styles that some secluded group of people says is out of style. Changing my hair color from ombre to some fancy new dying trick should not be something I’m told needs to “R.I.P.” and it definitely shouldn’t be something I’m put down for. Last time I checked, my capability to shave one side of my head did not become more difficult just because a new year rolled around. Therefore I’d appreciate it if Cosmo and everyone other “fashion magazine” could learn that they have no right to tell me how to dress or do my hair. I understand that it’s all a part of the game, but if that’s the case then change the rules because you have a big enough audience to do so. If you refuse to change the rules, then stop acting like you’re trying to help empower women when every other season you’re telling them that they’re doing “it” wrong: from hair, to love, to smiling, to friending, to posting, to moisturizing, to sex, to family…how is you discounting my judgment suppose to empower me? It’s simply going to conform and destroy me.

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2015 in Be Pensive

 

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Say Yes to the Nay-Sayers

   At the age of 20, I believe I can do anything. I’m young, I’m strong and most importantly I’m determined. It’s how I get from day to day and month to year. It never occurred to me that something would ever come along and shake me up a bit. Last night, that something did. I went to my first rugby practice and I was beyond scared.

   I’ve never played a sport before- not little league soccer, not ice skating, not even cheerleading- so going into a sport with no padding and no experience was terrifying. Now when I first decided to play I was all smile, but once I actually hit the field I froze. It happens to the best of us. We’re a ball of excitement when we get an idea- whether it’s to ride the rollercoaster or go on a cruise- but once the time comes to act we freeze. Freezing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s what follows that can be a problem.

   In between the numbness and the act you have to make a choice, whether to keep going or turn back. In my case I kept going, not because I wasn’t afraid anymore, because it’s what I had sat out to do. The reason I was so worried was only because my friends were- they thought I was going to get mauled or something. I began thinking about getting ran over by someone much bigger than me, and I wanted to go back to my hair and nails- the safe side of life. We do it all the time, forfeit our ambitions for someone’s doubts. Yet, we lose sight of why we started in the first place. I’m not saying the concerns of others are a bad thing- it’s good to know they care. I’m just saying that once you start living by their rules, you can stop dreaming up ideas. They may not change your mind all the time, but they will change your mind.

    Your job is to go for it. Address their concerns and maybe take them into consideration, but do not let them be the determining factor in your life. I understood where my friends were coming from- I know I’m small, and working out is less about “working out” than buying the cute clothes- but I wanted to hit people. I wanted to get out on the field and catch and throw and kick like the rest of them. I knew I could, so I resolved to show them the sporty me. By the end of the night I hadn’t played much because the coach just wanted me to watch- maybe she thought I’d get mauled too- but I did learn some cool moves, and I got to see what it’s all about. I plan on going back to actually play- I’ve already started buying the gear- but if I wouldn’t have stepped onto the field I may have never been able to play the game.

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2014 in Be Encouraged

 

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