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Where Cosmo got it wrong…2015 Trends that need to R.I.P

Where Cosmo got it wrong…2015 Trends that need to R.I.P

Twitter has erupted with the new discovery of Cosmopolitan’s “21 Beauty Trends That Need to Die in 2015”  due to the fact that all the black women included in the article are featured in the “R.I.P.” category or  trends that need to go.  Such categorization has some publicly encouraging the boycotting of the magazine, while others have taken to the social media site with hashtags like #whatitsliketobeablackgirl. Yet my problem isn’t with the topic of categorization but why it exists to begin with, so in response to Cosmopolitan and all those crying wolf over this “problem” here’s my list of Attitudes That Need to Die in 2015.

1. Playing the victim: While racism in this world does still exist, it is important to know how to choose your battles. Sure there are 4 women in this article who are black, and all of them are in the “R.I.P.” category, but what about the remaining 17 who are either White or Hispanic who are also in this category? They aren’t taking to social media and hashtagging their lives away because it doesn’t matter. Sure as a community we have been dealt some dirty hands, but does this article really compare to the Trayvon Martins of this world? I think not. I mean sure Cosmopolitan has apologized, wonderful, but what about the apologies for all the deaths and injustice? Hmmm…crickets. So take a step back, reevaluate the seriousness of situations, and wonder why you’re worrying about the opinions of shrimp if you consider yourself a shark.

2. Discounting people because of race, features, etc.: One important thing I noticed about the Huffington Post article– which brought my attention to this outrage in the first place– is that they continually discount Nicole Richie’s inclusion in the Cosmo list because she is mixed. The same thing occurred when President Obama first took office as the world continually referred to his Hawaiian/White descent and began to discount him as a black man. However this isn’t just a problem in the media but also in our everyday lives. Just look on social media and you’ll see team light skins and team dark skins, team relaxed, natural, texlaxed, Hatian, Jamaican and everything in between. The constant segregation of our community from the inside needs to stop, and we need to learn to embrace and learn from each others strengths and weaknesses.

3. Instigating: Along with those who play the victim every time a horn sounds are those who add flame to the fire by supporting the ignorance whether knowledgeable or not. Take for instance all those who have retweeted others post on the Cosmo article, and of all those retweets all the incorrect information that was spread. Think of all the individuals who may not have taken the time to view the article themselves, but still tweeted about it just because it was trending.

4. Boxing: Now I don’t mean boxing as in self-defense. By all means if you feel the need to learn to protect yourself, as I feel we all should, do so and have fun while doing it. Feel empowered by doing it, but when you’re boxing people into a stereotype, look or any other aspect of someone’s life just because you think it’s not okay I have to stop you. The whole article is based on styles that some secluded group of people says is out of style. Changing my hair color from ombre to some fancy new dying trick should not be something I’m told needs to “R.I.P.” and it definitely shouldn’t be something I’m put down for. Last time I checked, my capability to shave one side of my head did not become more difficult just because a new year rolled around. Therefore I’d appreciate it if Cosmo and everyone other “fashion magazine” could learn that they have no right to tell me how to dress or do my hair. I understand that it’s all a part of the game, but if that’s the case then change the rules because you have a big enough audience to do so. If you refuse to change the rules, then stop acting like you’re trying to help empower women when every other season you’re telling them that they’re doing “it” wrong: from hair, to love, to smiling, to friending, to posting, to moisturizing, to sex, to family…how is you discounting my judgment suppose to empower me? It’s simply going to conform and destroy me.

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2015 in Be Pensive

 

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In a Trance

In a Trance

Twenty-one. It’s an age of joy, laughter, freedom and inadequacy. You either don’t drink enough or you drink too much. There’s too much business and not enough “business ;).” It’s the age where everyone’s married, has kids, is successful, just came back from Europe and felt the need to post it to the latest social site… and then there’s whatever you’re doing with your life for the day. It’s the age when you want to crawl under your blanky, hold on to the plushy of your choice, close your eyes and wake up 30, flirty and the thriv– Stop! You’re too old for that. Is it just me or have I made a U-turn into high school, where chicks have cliques and over powdered faces slice into you like ham at the deli– STOP! Open your eyes. Everything’s gone and it’s just you and the noise, but this noise is different. It’s calmer. You’re at the oasis. The place where bodies of water stretch before you, seagulls fly ahead, bikinis hug your confidence and nothing else matters. It’s the warm blanket and plushy of the universe. Lay on a towel, sit in your chair or immerse yourself in the serenity of tranquility, either way nothing else matters.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Oasis.”

 
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Posted by on January 7, 2015 in Be Encouraged

 

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A child’s laugh

A child’s laugh

Last night I had one of the best moments of my 20 years of living. It didn’t involve shopping, or my boyfriend, or any of the usual aspects women of my age worry so much about.
It was the embracing of my inner child.
Now don’t get me wrong, I watch Disney movies just as much as any other 3- year- old, but last night was a different kind of inner child. It started off like a regular night. I went to bible study, and once we had ended the study with a closing prayer a little person called for my attention. Because I’m so use to the call, I didn’t hesitate to answer it. It was one of my beloved princesses waiting to tell me about how she was getting her hair done for school (she’s like 4 or 5, so hairstyles shouldn’t be a big problem at her age, but more on that later.) Anyway, we talk and she asked to play a game on my tablet. (Here I have to include that because I’m so use to having kids around me, I have at least 4 child friendly games on my tablet and phone. You can never be too prepared.) I let her have my tablet and sat down with her to watch her play the classic game of Tic-Tac Toe, but as she started to play a little boy came up and wanted to play too. I allowed the two to play the game together and before I blinked twice I was surrounded by 4 children competing in a game of Connect Four. They cheered each other on, accepted their loses humbly, and moved through my collection of kids games with ease.
No surprise right? Kids are attracted to electronics like ants to an outdoor picnic. And that’s true, but there was one kid in the group who wasn’t playing: a fifth child who simply enjoyed cheering and encouraging their peers. It was me. I completely embraced the moment and enjoyed the group of youngsters hovering over my tablet figuring out the game of Pac Man. I cheered and got just as rowdy as them, and I won’t apologize for it. See when the little princess had called for my attention, I was bee lining for the door and on my way home (perks of living across the street from your church).

I didn’t want to talk.

I didn’t want to smile or hug.

I just wanted to get home to talk to my boyfriend. 

It was the call of innocence that made me decide to stay a bit longer, but I tell you she helped me more than she knows. That night I left the church uplifted and energized because I had relaxed and stopped worrying. I embraced the child in me with a group of Pre-K through 2nd grade kids, and while their parents and church goers looked over to see what the excitement was all about I looked up at the adults from my spot on the floor with a smile that only those kids could share.

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2014 in Be Encouraged, Be Yourself

 

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